doodles and babbles

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

CONFESSIONS of a restless jumping bean...

i should be doing something... i should be doing something! bakit ganon? alam kong walang gagawin tomorrow (september 16, 2004, thursday), pero alam kong next week medyo marami na tayong gagawin. but my mind and body are screaming REST! LEISURE! while my superego keeps on whispering "you have work to do... you still have lots of work to do... you should be doing something right now..."

oh my... have i already acquired a disorder? i hope not.

do you feel the same way? sometimes, i really do want to take a rest, by my mind just kept on thinking and fuzzing over the upcoming reports and quizzes. it has its own "mind" (huh?) i just can't get rid of those reports and quizzes.

but you know, --this is really weird-- sometimes i like the feeling of finishing a report in the middle of the night to be submitted the next day. or start, as in start, studying one hour before the quiz. sometimes, i like the feeling of being stressed then finishing the stuff that caused my stress. get it? and i really savor the feeling of "haay salamat!" when every stress and sleepless nights pay off with a nice satisfactory grade or performance. diba...? nakakarelate kayo diba? sarap ng feeling nun diba? pag mataas ang grade na nakuha mo sa pinagpuyatan mong report or kaya pag sigurado ang mga sagot mo sa quiz na pinaghandaan mo one hour ago lang... sana nga ganun palagi. unfortunately, there are times when your heardships don't pay off at all...

iyak ka nalang.
ganun talaga.
bawi nalang sa susunod.
kung may susunod pa.

hay classmates... this is college life. i still can't picture myself wearing that black cloak and cap and transferring that colored tassle to the other side of my head. graduation... next year na yun. ano kaya isusuot kong dress? hehe...

lam niyo, sa totoo lang... di ko pa alam kung ano nga ba ang gagawin ko pagka-graduate ko. definitely not med. hindi ko kaya yun. di rin kaya ng bulsa namin yun. i don't like being a guidance counselor. kahit nung highschool pa, ayoko na nun. i don't wan't to teach. because i lack the ability to transfer learning to other people. forensic psych sana... kayalang parang next to impossible na ata yun. kelangan mo munang mag-chem ng sandamakmak at mag law rin. mananatiling pangarap nalamang yun. industrial psych... puwede na rin, pero wala talaga dun ang heart ko. baka ma-bore lang ako agad. clinical psych mejo gusto ko pa, kayalang ang daming research!!! ayoko na nun... gusto ko sana sa mga special kids pag nag clinical psych, pero ayoko na ng research.

o... ano pa ba? may naiisip pa ba kayo? kung mag-asawa nalang kaya ako...? nyak-nyak-nyak!!! JOKE LANG!!! :p hindi pa dumadating ang guy na makakasama ko pang-habang buhay. kung nandiyan na siya, hindi pa siya pinapakilala ni Lord sa kin. In His time, makikilala ko rin siya. wait lang ako...

kaya ngayon, sobrang pinagpe-pray ko ang magiging work ko after graduation. hindi ko talaga kasi alam. iniisip ko nga... kung BS-IT nalang sana ang inapplyan ko noon, siguro mas-magiging clear yung future work ko for me. mahilig akong mangalikot ng computer, and i like arts to. kung puwede nga, gusto ko magwork sa PIXAR. hehe... office mates kami ni Orange. pero naisip ko rin, hindi naman hahayaan ni Lord na makapasa ako sa psych kung hindi Niya plano na mag-psych ako. so definitely, may pinaplano sa akin si Lord. Hindi pa nga lang Niya nirereveal sa kin yun. i pray that He would reveal it very soon 'cause i'm starting to fret about my future. but i will trust in Him while i wait for His answer. my future is in His hands...

ayan. may naisulat rin ako ulit. sorry ha, medyo mahaba. i will understand if you won't reach this far. pero maganda sana kung nabasa niyo ng buo. kasi ako, pinagchachagaan kong basahin yung mga posts nyo! (hehe! manumbat daw ba?)

salamat sa walang sawang pagtangkilik sa aking mga pinoposts. ganun din ang walang sawa kong pagtangkilik sa inyong mga isunusulat na saloobin.

hanggang sa muling pagblo-blog...

*bow*

9:53 PM
Scribbler